1 post tagged “psychiatry”

It turns out that the wonderful drug Cymbalta that worked so well for my bi-polar disorder pre-pregnancy, no longer works.  It made me feel human, so that I was still able to experience all of the emotional responses to things, but at reasonable levels... or whatever.  Sheesh.  It's so not working now.  I can't think of words that I need to use.  I'm intelligent!  I can't even think straight, let alone express myself clearly.  Explanations for *anything* need to be delivered to me more than once.  I've had a crappy memory for a long time but this is in one ear and out the other.  Like talking about Wall Street to Paris Hilton.  My body's twitchy and my moods are rampant.  I feel like crawling out of my skin.

I told the Psych about this and she said that at our appointment on Tuesday she will add some anti-psychotic to my Cymbalta.  WHY???  Listen, I can get my anxiety under control.  I've done it before.  Meditation and breath work.  I need a bi-polar specific medication!  I don't trust drugs from drug companies.  I've gotten all of my other "problems" under control without meds before.  But the bi-polar is real.  It's a chemical imbalance.  I need drugs for that.  I just don't look forward to going through the withdrawal of one med and the initial side effects of a new one.  I hate that.  I have a 3 1/2 month old son to care for and a fiance to be fair to and understanding of.  It isn't as thought I can come home from work and do art or read all night until I fall asleep to ignore the side effects.  That's what I used to do.  Now I have to suffer them while trying to function normally.

Oh, and here's something interesting.  I have a tooth infection and I had an abscess eslewhere and so I'm on antibiotics (which always wreak havoc on my body, inside and out) and generic Vicoden (sp?) (which I'm allergic to), and the hydrocodone makes me feel the way Cymbalta used to.  Strange, huh?

Anyway, baby R. is crying.